Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Bongo is gone, Capiche (Godfather's take on Missing Bongo)

Day One – The Kiss: Bongo is last seen kissing Monkey Jude on the lips. Normally we know that this is a common act displayed by Matthew’s monkeys, but this time it seemed more sinister than usual. Maria (Matthew’s Mother and close confident of both monkeys) thinks she heard Monkey Jude say, “I know it was you Bongo…”

Day Two – GONE: Mysteriously, Bongo is gone. Matthew went to day care with Bongo, but later when he came home Bongo was GONE!

Day Three – Rumors and Innuendos: Monkey Jude starts spreading wild rumors about the whereabouts of Bongo to the chagrin of everyone in the Varesic household. Monkey Jude starts spilling the beans, but is it truth or just lies to throw everyone off the scent…

- “I think I saw a strange package smelling of bananas & fish…maybe Bongo sleeps with the fish?”

- “Where is horsie? …I thought I saw his head in Matthews’s bed…”

- “Does Bongo like saying rosaries on row boats…because I could have sworn he was out on the lake when I heard a prayer and a gunshot.”

Day Four – A Lead?: Johnny Cakes (Matthew’s leather clad plush dog toy) is suddenly missing as well. Perhaps Bongo & Johnny Cakes ran off together? This is the best lead Tony & Maria had…but it was obvious that in order to confirm they needed some help to find them.

Day Five – HELP!:

“We heard ya lost sumptin...maybe we can help you find it."

After Maria told her story to these people…one of them tries to reassure her that Bongo will be found.

"Listen here Missy...forgettaboutit we find this here bongo monkey whateverdaf**k use call him, and you never hear from these per pa traitas again ...we can also offa use protection from other bongo thieves…capiche? For a small fee of course...thinkaboutit sweet cheeks and get back to me."

Maria sends them to day care…

Little does Maria know that Bongo & Monkey Jude have been secretly involved in some shady black market banana dealings, and he was already being searched for by “the family” anyway. Ya see, Bongo was a good earner, but he liked to skim off the top, a banana here, a cheerio there…perhaps a few Goldfish…no one gets hurt. But, apparently he went too far…

Day 6 – The Search:

With still no word from Bongo, and “the family” hot on his trail…the enforcer is called in...

- They search the old burned down stable of Pie-o-My...but no evidence that he was there.

- They search the forest where someone said Bongo was seen dealing with some Russians…but he was not found.

- The enforcer tried to squeeze info out of the Dolphin, but to no avail.

- NO BONGO!!!

DAY 7 – BONGO FOUND:

Bongo mysteriously arrives at Day Care…an apparent mix up with someone’s backpack. An email from Matthew's teacher seems innocent enough.

“Bongo is found. I sent a note home with a student who has a similar backpack as Matthew on Wednesday. The note was in there the rest of the week and I am guessing the parents did not look in the folder. Bongo came today in his back pack. I am so sorry that this happened and I see Matthew now has a shiny new Bongo. He was excited to see Bongo and made the 2 monkeys kiss.”

Sorry about this mistake,

Matthew's Teacher

But, the truth is simple… The backpack switch was no accident! It was done for his own protection...apparently the Feds thought they had something on the whole Monkey Jude crime syndicate, but there was not enough evidence to indict. So, Bongo has been returned from his short stint in WRP (Witness Relocation Program) and given the cover /alibi of an "accidental backpack switching." The hope is he can assimilate back in the group and get more evidence of the dirty black market banana dealings, of Monkey Jude and the family. Bongo is now most likely wearing a wire to get some more information. In the future, Bongo better grow eyes in the back of his head, because I wouldn't trust Monkey Jude or any other stuffed animals...they could all be in on it…CAPICHE?

1 comment:

KW said...

James Gandolfsexy threw around his power to get that Bongo back. Now, he's gonna be working for him doing all the dirty work.